i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
