I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
