I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
