Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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