you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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