"it" just moved
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
