WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
