Screwed.edu
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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