College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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