I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
