Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
handjob tips. give me some.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
