your thong is hanging out like whoa
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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