he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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