In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
