Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
love makes seman taste better
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
