I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
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she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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