Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Be still, my beating vagina.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
