He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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