he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
