Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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