i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
