Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
