I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize