I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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