I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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