I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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