Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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