We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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