I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize