I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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