i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
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Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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