i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
