Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
