I've blown a few things in my day
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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