You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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