she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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