Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.