i don't plan on having that self control this summer
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.