I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
