I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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