Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
