she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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