i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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