I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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