ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Randomize
