he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
