Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
