I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
These tits shall not be calmed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
