Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
