After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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