i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
