Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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