I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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