guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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