He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Fuck appropriateness.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
