I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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