Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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