let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
