my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize