If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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