I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
