"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
