Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
