the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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