I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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