party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
