At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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