Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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